WHEN IN LOVE, TAKE CARE OF YOUR BELONGINGS

Dear Love,

I’ve been calculating the amount of memories we’ve made together.

Well, it’s not an easy task to calculate such things without a calculator especially when you know how much of those countless moments you have been making in those little minutes of togetherness.

Everything is complex in itself.

When in love, one has to take care of his belongings as this world is a kind of theatre in its own way.

You keep watching different scenes with different characters playing a role never the same.

You cross paths with a thief sometimes and sometimes you cross paths with Juliet to some other Romeo of your kind.

We keep meeting and we are meant to meet different faces and sometimes it’s hard to keep in mind who crossed paths with you a few moments back.

Dear Love,

I don’t know if it’s me myself who failed to take care of you as a belonging to my heart or was it the society who failed us.

All I remember is that I was busy loving you and never took a risk of misplacing you as I’ve took care of you as you are way more worthy than the life in me.

I’m not here to blame tonight, it’s just that I’m on the lookout for you.

Looking out for you ever since the moment I lost you.

I didn’t lose you like someone who loses his wallet while walking on the streets.

Instead, I lost you while you were standing right in front of me.

So close to me yet fleeing away forcibly from me.

The moments which are considered as a moment of our last meet up, weren’t the final ones but another kind of interval, Love.

It’s not the end yet, as I’ve mentioned earlier.

My heart has recently lodged a missing complaint and unless I have you again, there’s gonna be a state of funeral in my life.

There are parts of me which have died while the moments of losing you were happening a while back.

I keep crying and that’s what makes me attend my own funeral emotionally and mentally.

I don’t find anything beautiful other than memories caught up in photographs and my heart.

I no longer have cravings for some particular kind of dish or some good old music.

The heart still beats and it’s a sign that one of the most important part of me is alive and to keep it that way, I need you.

Unspeakably.

I want you.

You!

My love for eternity.

It’s getting a little difficult to type as my eyes have been turning blurry with that salt water again.

And here comes the moment where I turn into a saint with silence to promote and no words to exhale.

Love you, Love.

© Poetic Devdas

#itsallaboutyou

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IT’S TRULY NOT DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER. IT’S LOVE.

Dear Love,

I’ve charged my phone for more than thrice in my everyday life.

Its not that my phone had battery issues, it’s the process of loving you which made me do it.

In the process of loving you, I always had the need to stay in touch with you all day long and obviously the nights were never meant to pass without the feeling of you lying right next to me.

Life makes one play real time games.

From hurdles to javelin throw, life makes one play all of the sports by the problems and puzzles it presents us with.

Life made me play the game of finding the missing pieces of myself by keeping the most important part hidden in you and you are the one missing as of now.

From charging my phone every now and then, I got deeply connected to the habit of having you along in everything I was supposed to do by myself.

Now, life has took you a little away from me.

In a fraction of second, life snatched away my schedule of breathing.

It changed the schedule of my life turn upside down.

I no longer sense the music in my breathing rhythms.

Time has made me tune my characters like a radio’s frequency.

I keep changing my moods time to time.

Without you, my nights make me turn into a depressed man with mental illness of staring at a particular object for hours.

Well, in my case, I stare at the moon which has been the sole witness of our togetherness.

Early morning makes me appear as a man with no existence on social world as I keep my phone switched off for hours until it’s night where I could just look at our saved memories from the past.

The one writing to you at this very moment, is again a new character.

A character who knows only one single art.

The art of describing love with every letter he writes.

And I’m gonna hold on to this character for a while now.

You!

My love for eternity.

Dear Love,

You need to be loved in a way which men have always been making promises of but could never project the love when it was time to love.

You have to be loved in ways, one can only imagine happening in fairy tales.

You know I keep the strong wills of making your wishes come true.

You ask me to take a step with you on the moon and that’s your only wish then believe me, I’ll get us enrolled into NASA at any cost just to take a step outside this world to a place where people have always been placing their love upon.

‘The Moon’

Dear Love,

I’m not here to make you miss me by these words filled with love.

Maybe you aren’t reading my words at all.

Maybe you are out there noticing every letter I’ve been posting at anonymous sites in search of your presence over the net while unable to trace your existence on the land with no dollars in hand.

‘Maybe’, you are somewhere close.

My skin has been waiting for your touch.

I no longer wear those sleeveless t-shirts.

The ones, you loved when worn by me.

There’s love in your touch my soul has been wanting desperately.

There’s beauty in every inch of your physical form.

I remember us planting plans of forever togetherness and how we had everything common between us.

From sharing those dark secrets to little tastes of life we always wanted to have.

You have been fooled by good liars,

You’ve been traumatized by your own feelings.

You’ve been letting your heart burn by not shedding a drop of tear to let yourself feel free from the burden of pain you’ve been letting inside you grow to a very deeper extent.

You’ve been letting your present turn into haunting nightmares with your eyes wide open.

You’ve had all the essentials of being a perfect match to the feeling of love.

You’ve got faith filled in the words you once used to utter to me

You’ve made love to me in graceful and a completely holy manner.

With you, I started worshipping the feelings growing between us with every moment we breathed together.

You’ve got so much to say to me.

You’ve got so much of love for me.

Yet there you are, caged somewhere deep in this forest.

Here I am, trapped in a prison with walls and doors disguised as walls with that lock worn by them.

As you know,

Love finds love,

damaged finds damaged,

&

broken finds broken.

You & me are one of a kind made to live up with each other.

We will be crossing paths with each other.

Today, tomorrow or in those forthcoming days of our life.

This is how I’ve let different characters bury their roots and grow inside of me.

It’s time for me to switch to a character who could match up to this speed the world has been racing with.

And believe me,

It’s truly not dissociative identity disorder.

It’s love for you Love.

I’ve got nothing but love for you.

© Poetic Devdas

#itsallaboutyou

Emptiness…! The actual state of devastation (Part 1)

Dear Love,

I’ve held you in my arms like the way one holds an infant.

With you in my arms, I’ve always felt the attachment between us to be the strongest yet a delicate one.

A little touch of imbalance and everything could break down in that very moment.

To make you feel the feeling of that essence of your presence my love, let me take you a little back in time when it was the beginning of my life’s most colorful and beautifully bright moment.

October 25th 2019

It was 2 in the noon when I came across looking for you.

On one hand I was waiting for a text of approval to meet you for the first time and on the other hand my eyes were pinned up on that lengthy dark black gate from where you could cross my vision any moment.

In those deep moments of my wait to look at you for the first time, I got lost in your beauty which I was yet to witness and that’s the moment I felt that sudden vibration of my phone.

I knew that very moment about how lucky am I going to get in the upcoming seconds belonging to those little minutes which were together going to build up the beautiful hours of my special day.

2:20pm

There you were, floating in the air as if you were born to fly and by air I mean those arms in which your mother chose to carry you along as there’s no other safest place on earth other than her strong and the only trust worthy place to rest upon.

Gently step by step you were brought closer to me and that each step your mother made towards me, my heart and my breath both raised up there frequency every alternate moment.

I know I can keep on curating those beautiful moments of my life through these never ending words but all I want to say is you are the one which makes me wanting to live this life to the fullest.

You!

My love for eternity.

Within no time, I was asked to open up my arms and take a step forward so that I could be gifted with YOU.

My hands were shivering and eyes were turning me into a live human waterfall but all I focused was on how to hold you carefully without letting the carelessly flowing air to forcefully make you blink your eyes.

You! My love! You have the complete right to choose how you want to breath and how you want to live.

I love you so much and I will always be loving you as you made me change my definition on love but yes to be honest, your mumma made me understand the language of love but when these moments are all built up for you and just for you, I wanna focus on that and continue narrating the moments after I took you in my arms.

You looked like your mother. The most magnificent lady I ever met.

Everything about you was so new to me.

The way you kept rolling your eyes and never stopped on one single face or how nothing affected you because of the movements happening around was making me love you more.

Without that neck of yours, you kept on using your eyes to look whatever it could and just like me, you were lost too!

Unaware of the actions happening around, you just kept on breathing and living your life without any complaints from this world.

I really want to continue further but guess what!?

I don’t want this narration of our little journey to end up in a single page. Instead I want to keep you wide awake in my imaginations and keep penning down as in reality you are miles away from my arms and keeping everything aside, I just want to stop as of now say by saying from the bottom of my heart that I truly, love you.

You!

My love for eternity.

© Poetic Devdas

Instagram @poeticdevdas_aaina

#itsallaboutyou

A STATE OF DEVASTATION

Dear Love,

Frustration,

Irritation,

A state of Devastation !

Things which bring pain to your inner soul are often limited compared to those bruises and high end injuries on your physical self.

I’ve seen pain getting injected in my veins when I was forced to be quiet and let you leave from my sight, my love.

You!

My Love for Eternity.

To me, you made pain look beautiful.

It’s not that I’m referring to pain as something positive but as they say, to see and understand the value of light, you need to put yourself in darkness sometimes until and unless a ray of light shows up.

To me, pain is a wholesome form of emotion and regardless of what kind of pain I’m experiencing, pain is what makes me keep a hope on how the moments would make me feel beautiful when my inner self will be in the process of healing itself or through the touch of your fingers on my heart with a pinch of your melodious voice landing up in my ears whispering softly.

To me, you are a wholesome form of the world without any clashes between my heart and mind.

I love referring you to every little positive thing happening in my life.

You!

My love for eternity.

I’ve seen you getting snatched away from my arms my love.

It’s hard to find happiness and click a selfie out of some random mood when your past is still on your mind.

The pain keeps on irritating my inner self like a nail getting itself fixed up on a wall with the help of a hammer.

My head bangs up hard all night and makes me keep my eyes open out of pain.

But when it’s you widely awake in my imaginations, I feel pain as the most beautiful form of love.

There are words spinning in me like a washing machine’s work mode option which says

‘Spin & Rinse’.

Trying to pull out the words in this mode will lead my heart to break down in public and never gain the will to show up my face on the floors of love again.

I’m yet to slip on the floors of love.

You!

My love for eternity.

© Poetic Devdas

#itsallaboutyou

THE JOURNEY FROM SATURATION TO EVAPORATION

Dear Love,

I’ve been trying ways to get an intel on how your life has been in the hell you’ve been pushed into.

I really hope that you are doing fine.

If not with the sentimental part of you, I hope you’ve maintained your physical health.

I have so much love for you. I have so much to say to you.

Yet here I am, just writing drafts.

Hoping to have you as a hidden reader of the words I’ve been writing while keeping you in my thoughts and moreover, you know I’ve kept you away from the world in these eyes of mine.

I have you as my vision and I see you in place of world.

There’s a saying that the mother of Lord Krishna, once made Krishna or as we better know him as “Kanha” was once forced to open up his mouth when he denied of having consumed a pot full of butter but the moment Kanha opened up his mouth, his mother, Yashodhara saw the visuals of entire galaxy revolving in Kanha’s mouth and she just stayed lost in that view she witnessed.

Dear Love,

Apart from talking about how a mother saw the galaxy existing in her little child,

I want to tell you about sailors tonight.

Sailors during their journey, used stars to navigate and find their way home.

The north Polaris star helped them keep moving towards their land of home and speaking of all of these, I wanna say you that everyone finds solace in something.

When I see you, I see my way home.

I’ve been away from my home now.

It’s been a while as you know.

It’s been a long while. I’ve spent nights like those mornings where one never feels sleepy after a shower. I stay up all night, lost in your thoughts.

It’s almost 2 am and I’ve been wondering about the days I spent with you for the first time in years of my wait for you.

There’s so much to say to you.

With every moment filled with your absence, my eyes have been saturating themselves.

They stay wet almost all the time.

My soul has been in a trap since a while now. A trap my own body has turned into. My soul keeps barking at times to let him out of my body. It hurts me so badly by making me cry or by just making me feel pain to an extent where I could not use my voice to scream and let the pain out. I have to keep this pain to myself.

I have to move and work around like the way they do in a library. The place where noise and whispers are considered as a sin and an insult to the books lying in those shelves.

Just a few hours back, I went numb again. To an extent where I could actually sense nothing in me and nothing existing around me.

I’ve stopped feeling changes in climatic conditions but my soul started shivering. That shiver made me grow so weak in a fraction of second that I almost felt like my soul is finally going to make its first successful attempt of escaping from this trap I’ve turned into.

It’s me who has been the actual reason of destruction appearing around all this while.

I’ve been a jar of destruction without the label of handle with care.

I tightly hold my head with both my hands and wait for the noises to go numb.

I no longer rise to see the rising sun.

I stay up all night waiting to see how the moon disperses itself for the sun to make its appearance.

There’s someone, who has been trying to hold me from falling down the cliff. Neither a friend, nor a one sided lover of mine. Someone from the world of patched up broken soul. Someone who knows how broke the broken ones are.

With my existence evaporating inch by inch, someone has been trying to hold me by placing a hand on my head, letting the evaporating version of me convert itself into water droplets on those hands which will help me turn out to be a condensed one again.

The one filled with love and just love.

I’ll make sure not to cause damage to this new identity my life has crossed paths with.

In this process of saturating and evaporating from this world, I’ve accidentally became a part of something bigger than me.

I’ve failed at making successful human connections. All my previous attempts at human connection have ended up either in causing destruction of happiness or destruction of dreams.

And now, I’m learning the art of patchwork.

Beginning this process of healing self is a little difficult. But till the moment, you’ll stay in my thoughts, nothing will seem to be difficult. Not even the noises coming out from my broken soul which has been behaving like a kid with his broken toy. I know for sure that it needs you, but you need me to calm my soul down and to make him understand that the right time is yet to come.

As this draft ends with a positive vibe, I would love to say this again but it’s fine to keep it stored in these drafts till you make a comeback Love.

I just want to say you, that I love you.

You!

My love for eternity.

© Poetic Devdas

#itsallaboutyou

FINDING THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN LISTENING TO ME FROM THE WORLD OF BROKEN

Dear Love,

Writing on you and writing for you has always been my way of bringing out my love for you.

The moments we’ve had are not the moments to be forgotten.

The world might believe in the process of moving on after a destruction but what I always believed is in you.

You!

My love for eternity.

You are what I’ve seen right from growing up as a plant to ending up as a plucked up and thrown away leaf.

It’s my love which lifted you up from the ground and instead of keeping you in my life as a dry leaf which ends up getting stored between the pages of an old book, I chose to keep you safe where even I could never try causing a harm.

I know you know the place I offered you. Let me open up and tell the world all about it.

I’ve consumed every bit of you and stored you safe in my eyes.

The eyes, now always keep looking at you. Looking at you, helps me keep you away from pain and damage.

I love you.

Even if the world is a sadist, I know there are few who belong to the world we belong to.

“The world of broken”.

You!

The one who has this letter tonight!

You might be the one who’s been listening to me and not the world.

Why else would you even wait to see my words getting added up word after word with your eyes rolling back to the words they’ve already read a moment ago.

Why else would you stay without the need of a full stop for one final time if you had not felt any connectivity with the words I’ve been writing down without even a single thought of what kind of words have I been using or those simple grammatical errors.

I’ll have to apologize and I am apologizing if I’ve been rude through my words but I really have been growing angry tonight with every moment passing by.

Tonight’s the night I lost myself.

A year since this night has been haunting me.

Dear Love,

Yes, I have been crying tonight.

A year back on the same day, I lost me.

You. You always had my reflection in you.

The moment I lost the reflection, I knew I lost myself.

I never had any plans of shedding tears tonight.

It’s the little things which always reminds us of bigger things in life.

Just a two digit number on the calendar reminded me of the day when all those moments of our togetherness came to an hault.

Tonight, I’ll stop writing without a full stop before beginning a new part of my story as I want this story to be incomplete till the time it’s not allowed to meet the right point of end.

Just because I want someone to stay.

Someone who can just listen to what I’ve been and what I’ve been turning into, without you.

Love.

I have to stop my tears and this is how I think I’ll be able to do it.

I’m writing this to you.

Writing moments from the past.

I’ll just pen it down as if I’m looking at you in present.

I just want to feel you around to stay alive until I find you back.

I can’t leave the world while you are still waiting for me to find the part of that missing puzzle of your life.

You!

My love for eternity.

You are completely delicate,

serene,

cold,

lazy,

simple,

emotional and sometimes filled with anger but most of the times all I saw was love in your eyes.

Your hair black as darkness.

I feel every presence you emit in my life.

I used to be so sad but you entered and unlocked my lips to bring a wide smile and now I’m more than ok. You make me feel better.

Your laughter is so sonorous and sweet.

The way you breath out every alternate moment, your breath reminds me of my favourite flowers.

I don’t want you to go away from me.

Seeing you go away makes me feel asthmatic.

All I wanna be as of now is good for you and all I feel is you’re good for me too. That brings a wide smile again.

Before listening something from you for the first time in an entire day, I used to find a fragment of feeling whenever I gaze into your gleaming, hopeful eyes and then I heard you speaking and right from that moment your voice became my most loved reprise.

The way you keep moving here and there with those tippy toes to unknowingly grab my attention, that makes me fall for you.

There is a voice urging me to take a step towards you, hold your hands and let you know that no matter how worse the things get, I won’t leave your hand.

I don’t want you in my life for a temporary period of time as life is already a temporary one on this earth as we both know.

And as we both know, whenever two loved ones meet, time passes too soon just like a free trial.

I want you until this world becomes a non existing world.

I want to be worthy enough to be blessed with your love.

What a charming little beauty you are!!

You!

My love for eternity.

I’m not going to stop with a full stop tonight.

I’ll wait for you to come back and listen to what I got to say.

You, who has been reading out my words at this very moment.

I’ll wait….to be continued

© Poetic Devdas

#itsallaboutyou

I’ll hear your heart wishing me a “Merry Christmas”, Love

Dear Love,

A few more hours and there’s gonna be a noise hailing from different parts of the world.

Most of them would be far away to be heard from the place I’m rotting without you and some part of the noise of joy might be coming right from my neighbors.

In both the instances, I’ll be keeping my ears wide open to let your voice travel through me even if it’s coming from a place I’ve never been to.

It’s been almost a year since we’ve been forced to part ways away from each other letting us to rot in a prison showcased as home to the ones who are unaware of how badly scared my heart is.

The sadness you fight and the sadness I fight, can find its relativity somewhere as both come under the impression of being ‘sad’.

Last Christmas was the Christmas I celebrated for the first time and let me tell you how beautiful I felt while celebrating this beautiful occasion in your arms, Love.

Away from the world, we chose to stay locked up in a room.

A room full of wonders.

The room which is stuck so hard in my mind that at times when I’m day dreaming, I see you running around through the corners of that room, trying to escape from those little bites of rice I was trying to feed you with and I just end up slipping down in reality as you are no longer here, running around me, waiting for me to get hold of you out of love.

You!

My love for eternity.

Back to the present,

This Christmas will be a day trying to break me by making me miss your presence either by the ticking time which will remind me all of my moments I had with you on the same day last year or I guess it will find a way somehow to break me by making people wish me the happiest Christmas ever.

At the end, it’s the sadness I’ll be left with and those left out pieces of pastry.

To let the day of Christmas visit and leave without any pain, I need you.

Even if it takes a while,

I’ll wait to hear from you.

I’ll hear you saying ‘Merry Christmas, Love’.

And with a forcefully brought up smile,

I’ll say Merry Christmas to you too, Love.

Amidst the noise of joy from the world, I’ll identify the wishes your heart will murmur to me.

© Poetic Devdas

#itsallaboutyou

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