YOU- THE GULDASTA OFFERED BY LIFE

Dear Love,

It’s about us tonight.

By now, it’s been a very long time since we got to open up our heart and let the feelings and emotions flow through this world.

It’s been a while since we’ve been made to disconnect ourselves from a few emotions like laughing out loud, commenting our views on something beautiful or you may say, we stopped letting the feeling of feeling peace around us by abandoning the art of listening to music.

We no longer belong to the reputed part of community.

We’ve been marked as spam in this world where one should have his rights to speak up in real and not just some fundamental rights mentioned in those text books of a young kid.

We no longer find ourselves murmuring lyrics of our favourite song.

As a while ago, we started forgetting few words from the beginning of our favourite song and then ended up forgetting the tune to that music.

They say it’s just the rust, dust and the unwanted thrust from the world which occupies itself over things which are unused for a very long time.

Love, Do we belong to this group of “unwanted”?

But over the time of being away from each other, we’ve stayed along with each other in lands not present over this planet in real.

The land of dreams, thoughts, memories and essence of our presence near each other in this absolute absence.

We’ve kept us alive.

We keep us alive in our memories.

And rust covered with dust is far away from settling it’s nest on us.

I love you so much.

You’ve been my love for eternity and you’ll always be my love for eternity.

Tonight, it’s just about us.

We’ve kept our promises of staying along alive in worst situations.

Now let me tell you how I stay in so much love with you even when there’s parts of me evaporating in your absence these days.

To me, you appeared as a ‘Guldasta‘.

A guldasta offered by life.

*Guldasta (hindi word for bouquet)*

Well, more than the word bouquet, guldasta is the word I found to be the romantic version for a bunch of flowers with naturally scented essence.

To me, you appeared as a ‘Guldasta’ with colourful shades of love and refreshing scented essence of a new life.

Your touch was soft like those petals.

With every touch you made, I saw parts of me glowing. With my eyes looking just at you all the while, I managed to help them grow so addictive to your presence that these moments of your absence sometimes fails to test my patience when my eyes easily project you to make myself calm down and just breath.

I have so much to say to you.

I have so much love to shower upon you.

With you, I wanna dive into the ocean of love and just love.

I start with speaking about us and your countless memories make me end up by speaking just about you.

You!

My love for eternity.

© Poetic Devdas

#itsallaboutyou

YOU TRAVEL THROUGH THOSE WHISPERS MY HEART LISTENS TO

Dear Love,

Its quite late to say that I miss you.

That too at the times when you are no longer present to hear from me.

It’s been a while since I’ve been quiet with my lips sealed.

I have so much to say to you but your absence has made me numb enough to be judged as a man with some mental trauma or someone who is weak enough to speak for himself.

How do I even speak of things when the past is still on my mind?

Day 363 without your presence has been something like this; Iwoke up the way I wake up every morning when your hands start to pat my cheeks to wake me up and obviously without your presence, all of your love and care has been passed on to me by our own memories of togetherness which keep flashing in my head all night which at times, ends up triggering a few nightmares trying to haunt me for the whole night.

My whole day passes a little easily as I stay totally away from feeling my own breathing rhythms which again reminds me of you listening to my breathing rhythms on those late night calls.

I keep myself occupied in different ways and then starts the actual session of getting lost in your thoughts my love when I’m offered to sit in front of computer system and start making accounting entries.

It usually starts with the mourning doves landing on my window with no motives of flying back to their nest.

Pigeons have always been identified with their peaceful mode of speech which we often refer to as ‘coo’.

The entire process of me getting distracted starts from a little coo.

I hear nothing now.

Everything is so quiet around.

There’s no strain on my eyes from the light coming out from the system.

With my eyes focused on the monitor and letting my fingers type like they’ve been flowing smoothly in the air, I got no other distractions from this world.

It’s just me.

There’s a slight echo one of my nerve from brain has been trying to inform me about.

The echo coming from this physical world.

I just ignore it and stay numb, busy with typing things I don’t know in actual.

Before a hard push which is more like a slap lands on my head, I sense you in my imaginations triggered by those painful emotions of being away from you.

You rush into my mind and whisper the words ,

“Honey!!! Wake up!”

….and I just come back to my senses and realise that I’ve been off the world again.

The doves are no longer available and the silence around me wasn’t real.

I had been lost this entire time.

Your memories flourishing in my heart makes my state of eyes shift from being dry to moist and I once again fall weak and that’s how I go numb.

I’m not a mad man with mental issues.

I’m a man with a heart aching so badly that it has left me with no words to speak.

With my lips sealed, I’m all occupied in the world of thoughts filled with your presence.

You!

My love for eternity.

© Poetic Devdas

#itsallaboutyou

WHEN IN LOVE, TAKE CARE OF YOUR BELONGINGS

Dear Love,

I’ve been calculating the amount of memories we’ve made together.

Well, it’s not an easy task to calculate such things without a calculator especially when you know how much of those countless moments you have been making in those little minutes of togetherness.

Everything is complex in itself.

When in love, one has to take care of his belongings as this world is a kind of theatre in its own way.

You keep watching different scenes with different characters playing a role never the same.

You cross paths with a thief sometimes and sometimes you cross paths with Juliet to some other Romeo of your kind.

We keep meeting and we are meant to meet different faces and sometimes it’s hard to keep in mind who crossed paths with you a few moments back.

Dear Love,

I don’t know if it’s me myself who failed to take care of you as a belonging to my heart or was it the society who failed us.

All I remember is that I was busy loving you and never took a risk of misplacing you as I’ve took care of you as you are way more worthy than the life in me.

I’m not here to blame tonight, it’s just that I’m on the lookout for you.

Looking out for you ever since the moment I lost you.

I didn’t lose you like someone who loses his wallet while walking on the streets.

Instead, I lost you while you were standing right in front of me.

So close to me yet fleeing away forcibly from me.

The moments which are considered as a moment of our last meet up, weren’t the final ones but another kind of interval, Love.

It’s not the end yet, as I’ve mentioned earlier.

My heart has recently lodged a missing complaint and unless I have you again, there’s gonna be a state of funeral in my life.

There are parts of me which have died while the moments of losing you were happening a while back.

I keep crying and that’s what makes me attend my own funeral emotionally and mentally.

I don’t find anything beautiful other than memories caught up in photographs and my heart.

I no longer have cravings for some particular kind of dish or some good old music.

The heart still beats and it’s a sign that one of the most important part of me is alive and to keep it that way, I need you.

Unspeakably.

I want you.

You!

My love for eternity.

It’s getting a little difficult to type as my eyes have been turning blurry with that salt water again.

And here comes the moment where I turn into a saint with silence to promote and no words to exhale.

Love you, Love.

© Poetic Devdas

#itsallaboutyou

Emptiness…! The actual state of devastation (Part 1)

Dear Love,

I’ve held you in my arms like the way one holds an infant.

With you in my arms, I’ve always felt the attachment between us to be the strongest yet a delicate one.

A little touch of imbalance and everything could break down in that very moment.

To make you feel the feeling of that essence of your presence my love, let me take you a little back in time when it was the beginning of my life’s most colorful and beautifully bright moment.

October 25th 2019

It was 2 in the noon when I came across looking for you.

On one hand I was waiting for a text of approval to meet you for the first time and on the other hand my eyes were pinned up on that lengthy dark black gate from where you could cross my vision any moment.

In those deep moments of my wait to look at you for the first time, I got lost in your beauty which I was yet to witness and that’s the moment I felt that sudden vibration of my phone.

I knew that very moment about how lucky am I going to get in the upcoming seconds belonging to those little minutes which were together going to build up the beautiful hours of my special day.

2:20pm

There you were, floating in the air as if you were born to fly and by air I mean those arms in which your mother chose to carry you along as there’s no other safest place on earth other than her strong and the only trust worthy place to rest upon.

Gently step by step you were brought closer to me and that each step your mother made towards me, my heart and my breath both raised up there frequency every alternate moment.

I know I can keep on curating those beautiful moments of my life through these never ending words but all I want to say is you are the one which makes me wanting to live this life to the fullest.

You!

My love for eternity.

Within no time, I was asked to open up my arms and take a step forward so that I could be gifted with YOU.

My hands were shivering and eyes were turning me into a live human waterfall but all I focused was on how to hold you carefully without letting the carelessly flowing air to forcefully make you blink your eyes.

You! My love! You have the complete right to choose how you want to breath and how you want to live.

I love you so much and I will always be loving you as you made me change my definition on love but yes to be honest, your mumma made me understand the language of love but when these moments are all built up for you and just for you, I wanna focus on that and continue narrating the moments after I took you in my arms.

You looked like your mother. The most magnificent lady I ever met.

Everything about you was so new to me.

The way you kept rolling your eyes and never stopped on one single face or how nothing affected you because of the movements happening around was making me love you more.

Without that neck of yours, you kept on using your eyes to look whatever it could and just like me, you were lost too!

Unaware of the actions happening around, you just kept on breathing and living your life without any complaints from this world.

I really want to continue further but guess what!?

I don’t want this narration of our little journey to end up in a single page. Instead I want to keep you wide awake in my imaginations and keep penning down as in reality you are miles away from my arms and keeping everything aside, I just want to stop as of now say by saying from the bottom of my heart that I truly, love you.

You!

My love for eternity.

© Poetic Devdas

Instagram @poeticdevdas_aaina

#itsallaboutyou

THE JOURNEY FROM SATURATION TO EVAPORATION

Dear Love,

I’ve been trying ways to get an intel on how your life has been in the hell you’ve been pushed into.

I really hope that you are doing fine.

If not with the sentimental part of you, I hope you’ve maintained your physical health.

I have so much love for you. I have so much to say to you.

Yet here I am, just writing drafts.

Hoping to have you as a hidden reader of the words I’ve been writing while keeping you in my thoughts and moreover, you know I’ve kept you away from the world in these eyes of mine.

I have you as my vision and I see you in place of world.

There’s a saying that the mother of Lord Krishna, once made Krishna or as we better know him as “Kanha” was once forced to open up his mouth when he denied of having consumed a pot full of butter but the moment Kanha opened up his mouth, his mother, Yashodhara saw the visuals of entire galaxy revolving in Kanha’s mouth and she just stayed lost in that view she witnessed.

Dear Love,

Apart from talking about how a mother saw the galaxy existing in her little child,

I want to tell you about sailors tonight.

Sailors during their journey, used stars to navigate and find their way home.

The north Polaris star helped them keep moving towards their land of home and speaking of all of these, I wanna say you that everyone finds solace in something.

When I see you, I see my way home.

I’ve been away from my home now.

It’s been a while as you know.

It’s been a long while. I’ve spent nights like those mornings where one never feels sleepy after a shower. I stay up all night, lost in your thoughts.

It’s almost 2 am and I’ve been wondering about the days I spent with you for the first time in years of my wait for you.

There’s so much to say to you.

With every moment filled with your absence, my eyes have been saturating themselves.

They stay wet almost all the time.

My soul has been in a trap since a while now. A trap my own body has turned into. My soul keeps barking at times to let him out of my body. It hurts me so badly by making me cry or by just making me feel pain to an extent where I could not use my voice to scream and let the pain out. I have to keep this pain to myself.

I have to move and work around like the way they do in a library. The place where noise and whispers are considered as a sin and an insult to the books lying in those shelves.

Just a few hours back, I went numb again. To an extent where I could actually sense nothing in me and nothing existing around me.

I’ve stopped feeling changes in climatic conditions but my soul started shivering. That shiver made me grow so weak in a fraction of second that I almost felt like my soul is finally going to make its first successful attempt of escaping from this trap I’ve turned into.

It’s me who has been the actual reason of destruction appearing around all this while.

I’ve been a jar of destruction without the label of handle with care.

I tightly hold my head with both my hands and wait for the noises to go numb.

I no longer rise to see the rising sun.

I stay up all night waiting to see how the moon disperses itself for the sun to make its appearance.

There’s someone, who has been trying to hold me from falling down the cliff. Neither a friend, nor a one sided lover of mine. Someone from the world of patched up broken soul. Someone who knows how broke the broken ones are.

With my existence evaporating inch by inch, someone has been trying to hold me by placing a hand on my head, letting the evaporating version of me convert itself into water droplets on those hands which will help me turn out to be a condensed one again.

The one filled with love and just love.

I’ll make sure not to cause damage to this new identity my life has crossed paths with.

In this process of saturating and evaporating from this world, I’ve accidentally became a part of something bigger than me.

I’ve failed at making successful human connections. All my previous attempts at human connection have ended up either in causing destruction of happiness or destruction of dreams.

And now, I’m learning the art of patchwork.

Beginning this process of healing self is a little difficult. But till the moment, you’ll stay in my thoughts, nothing will seem to be difficult. Not even the noises coming out from my broken soul which has been behaving like a kid with his broken toy. I know for sure that it needs you, but you need me to calm my soul down and to make him understand that the right time is yet to come.

As this draft ends with a positive vibe, I would love to say this again but it’s fine to keep it stored in these drafts till you make a comeback Love.

I just want to say you, that I love you.

You!

My love for eternity.

© Poetic Devdas

#itsallaboutyou